dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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