Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
