puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
