Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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