Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
