so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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