Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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