I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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