Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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