I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize