i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
