his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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