yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
