please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
