If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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