omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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