just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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