okay pat passed out under dana's car
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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