I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
