i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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