if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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