HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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