He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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