piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
