the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
