Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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