Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said βthis is my apology gift.β
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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