Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
