Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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