So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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