I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
