i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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