So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
