I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
