i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
