I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
