i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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