His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
