her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
