Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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