that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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