There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
