idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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