shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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