escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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