we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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