Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
