she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
