I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
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He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
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In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
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