yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
