we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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