I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
