Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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