So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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