Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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