ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
