quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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