I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
