You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize