Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude i'm inner monologue high
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
