Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I didn't notice because vodka
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
