i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
