I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I could make wine with my vomit
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
