Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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