I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
