you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
