I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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