We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
