college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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