I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
