Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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