NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
