That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
